Freshman Dorm Life: Vending Machines

Once upon a time, in a freshman all-male dorm, there were several vending machines in the lobby.

Most of the time, just across the foyer, there was someone at the front desk (actually a counter behind glass, with a window like a bank).

Well, one night, Belk was on duty, and sleeping like a newborn.

I can't say I was there, but no one is asking are they?

In the morning, all hell broke loose in the lobby.

"Mrs. B" (the hag that was our "Dorm Mother") all the Resident Assistants and their Assistants, and the regular preppy defenders of righteousness, the Campus Police, and even the San Diego Police were all mumbling and grumbling in front of the vending machines, and by the trophy cases, and behind and in front of the front desk...

It was fairly easy for them to figure out:

1. Belk had slept through the whole thing.

2. The vending machines had their contents delivered a spiral coil "untwisting" system. Each unwind of the spiral allowed another bag of snack food to drop into the tray. All it took was to flip the machines around and around and they would have their contents available. (How Belk could have slept through the flipping was a much debated item, considering the noise made by that many loose coins.)

3. The more disturbing thing was the fact that the trophy cases in the dorm’s ground floor “living room” were all empty. The 3 trophy cases each had sliding glass doors, embedded with chicken wire mesh, helping to confirm and remind and enforce that the dorms were modeled on a woman’s prison. Normally there were cylindrical locks with keyholes on metal tongues, that moved off the tongues to allow the sliding glass doors to move.

However, the trophies were no longer inside the cases. And, the locks were placed on BACKWARDS so the key hole was INSIDE the glass...so the doors could not be opened at all.

Now, if you knew what got them in that condition and could resolve it without breaking the glass (can't say I do, won't say I don't) would you offer your assistance?

As far as the trophies, poorly hidden in-between couch seats, in trash cans, and other noteworthy locations; none had gone missing.

No money was lost, none escaped from inside the guts of the vending machines.

The vending machines' contents were never recovered.