Sunday, August 31, 2008

Here is my poor attempt at "fixing" your TERRIFIC story

Annabell:
I have re-written your story to make it read better in English.
There were a few things I was unclear about, and I do hope I interpreted your meaning.
I did add one line (about weighing the ingot before giving money for it), and hope I didn't change anything else...

IT IS A REALLY GREAT STORY, AND THE WAY YOU WROTE IT ORIGINALLY IS BETTER THAN MINE.
However, English is what it is, and mine is "easier" to read for an English speaker.  (Your story is better however).

There are a couple of things I changed, and one I wasn't clear about.  
You Said:
"Therefore I dreamed muzzled again of being there…."
That is a really great sentence, and I wish I knew how better to "translate" your meaning...

Also, what was the noble lady wearing :

   There was a noble lady wearing a fashionable silk band,

(two piece on both side and had no top) A

precious deep green Burma jade fastened in the

front. It's worth a million at least.  Her silk stand

out dress so brilliant that everyone's ware couldn't

compare with. Under her long skirt there was a pair

three inches embroiled high heeled shoes.

I wasn't sure about your description "two piece on both side and had no top", so changed it slightly...
and, I assumed you meant embroidered shoes (shoes with colorful thread designs) instead of embroiled...

Also, do you want to "bring yourself back to the present" at the end of the story - like "I woke up feeling refreshed after having visited my hometown during the night..." or something?

Anyway, here is my poor attempt to turn your story into "American English", 
I hope you are not offended by my effort...it was a certain pleasure, I love your story!

If you want to call me to discuss how we can improve this, I am happy to help, it was great fun and a truly great story!
------------------------------------

June 21st 2004

We decided that my number 3 brother, number 5 sister, my mother and I, (three families in all), are going to visit our hometown this September.

 

Unfortunately I overexerted myself when I tried to move the headboard, and twisted my back.  It is pitiful, but, after that I wasn't able to move at all.

 

The only way I find myself able to cope is to depend on powerful medicine I now must take four times a day to relieve the pain.

 

I am a bridge addict yet how can I go to the bridge club and sit for so long?

 

I feel tired and sleepy all the time. It's hard to be old.

 

I am quite depressed now, but every old person has some illness or complaint.

 

My mother is no exception, and talks incessantly about her aging difficulties.

 

She said, "This will be the last visit for me.  When we went the last time, the leg-room was not enough in the plane and it made my legs swollen. I am getting old day by day and find it very hard to travel on such a long trip; two years ago I was sick for more than a month and the weather was very hot at that time and the mosquitoes…" She is such a chatterbox, with no end to her complaining.

 

It is said that: "What you think in the day, you will dream at night."

 

My mother and I shared a hot topic: whom we have to see and where we have to go ... Surely it will never happen in the near future due to our age.

 

Therefore I dreamed again of being there….

 

Whenever I went to Anqing, I liked to wander in the streets and recall the old days. I liked to listen and watch people talking with our hometown's accent. The accent really makes me homesick. People bargained loudly over the prices in the market, or shouted on the street whatever they had to sell or quarreled on the street if someone was hit by a bicycle. You could tell by whose voice was loudest who was right.

 

A vendor hit the flavored ice bar container which was made of wood, in a rhythm "Bing bang, Bing bang!" I didn't miss the food but the rhythm deeply moved me outside of my window and reminded me of my childhood.

 

The "Lao Hu Aao Chong Shui Di" store still sells boiling water. They burn coal instead of reeds and use a pipe and faucet to control the boiling water.  It is more convenient than to cook at home.

If you just need a small amount of boiling water after you pay a coin, you get a token with their brand on a piece of bamboo. By using their token you can get piping hot boiling water the next time, so as to get full value for your payment.

 

My curiosity caused me to explore things that were interesting on the streets. I rambled in the streets not to window shop, but to find out what everyone was doing.

 

While I was thinking, all of a sudden someone called me; "Da Gu O!"  I was surprised and wondered who was calling me.  It was a salesman, carrying many bamboo strips for tightening wooden tubs because when the weather is hot, the wooden tubs would shrink and had split seams. The repairman shouted all the way down the street, to let people know what he offers.

 

When I wandered into a big street, there were a lot of people inside a magnificent antique and money exchange shop. A young apprentice in front of the shop shouted "Money change, Money change!"

 

There was plenty of the old stuff, real or counterfeit, displayed. Some men wore high quality Chinese style dress and from the inside pure white cuffs were rolling out.  A gold chain hung from the button-hole, linking into their right side pocket, where they put their foreign gold watch.

 

There was a noble lady wearing a fashionable silk band, (two pieces on both sides but with none on top). She had a precious deep green Burma jade fastened in the front. It's worth a million at least.  Her silk stand out dress was so brilliant that no one's ware could compare. Under her long skirt there was a pair of three inch embroidered high heeled shoes. They were very tiny and beautiful.

 

There was a maid standing besides her lighting her water pipe now and then. The old lady must be the mother of the boss.

 

It seemed they were doing good business that day. Out of curiosity,  I went in and just like a bumpkin old lady enjoyed every movement and eavesdropped on what were they talking about in our hometown's accent.

 

An old man with a long gray mustache wearing a fine long silk Chinese gown haggled over the price with the salesman for changing Yaung Da Tu to coins.

 

A handsome middle-aged man came into the shop said : "Wang Yaun Wai, I was passing by and happened to see you here.  I was on the way to your home, because your shao ye in Su Zhu heard I was going to travel through your city and he asked me to bring things to you." 

 

The well dressed man continued, "You are very lucky your son has a prosperous business there. I have your household stipend, so you won't have to suffer this month!  Hehe! Thank you very much for your time!"

 

After that, he handed him a letter and a golden ingot (Jin Yuan Boa) and left the shop in a hurry, as he had other business.

 

After that man left, the old man smiled and hesitantly tore open the letter.  Then, he said, "That man is very kind.  He always brings food and things or money from my son."  He said again; "I should have let him read my letter to me, because my eyesight is not as good as it once was."

 

"Could I trouble you to read it to me?", offering the letter to the shop manager.

 

The young boss agreed.

 

The letter spoke about family matters, and said business was more prosperous than ever before.  Enclosed, was 10 ounces of gold, for his father's household use.

 

"What a good son!" The old man smiled with the greatest satisfaction.

 

The young boss, who was the eldest son of the store owner, then approached the old man, trying to make more business: "I will give you a fair price, if you wish to change your gold for money".

 

"Well, just let me touch my Jin Yuan Boi for a moment more. I don't mind that you test the content of it. I just want to remember how good it feels.  According to my son's letter, this fine gold weighs exactly 10 ounces." 

 

The young boss weighed the Jin Yuan Boi in his hand, From experience he knew it was more than 10 ounces. He was excited with the thought that he could earn more from this trade, so he didn't even bother to weigh it, as was the customary practice of his father.

 

Both of them were happy with their contract. With the money, the old man left the shop in a hurry.

 

Another smart customer had been eavesdropping on the whole conversation.

 

He knew more than the De Shao Y. The old man and his con partner were both swindlers; therefore, they had taken advantage of the salesman's innocence.

 

He said, "You had better check your merchandise, it is only gold coated."

 

After that the young boss took a close look.

 

He flushed when he discovered his mistake. People would laugh at him behind his back and his father would blame him too. So he asked this customer to help him and offered to give 5 Yuan De Tu as a reward.

 

The customer said: "Just happens I am his neighbor and I do know where he lives. But since we are neighbors, I can't show you in front of him."

 

In quick order, the young manager found the old man, who was just passing through the south gate.

 

The old man and the boss argued there and people came around and a big crowd gathered. The boss wanted his money back but the old man said: "You had read my son's letter. He told me it was a 10 ounce golden ingot but this is not the one which I give to you. Mine was a perfect one with no seam on it."

 

Then all of them went to a nearby shop and weighed it. It was 11 and half ounces. It appeared that the boss had cheated the old man. All the audience felt sympathy for the old man and beat the young boss severely.

 

Greed is a deeply rooted human weakness. As the saying goes "Money is the root of evil."  The old man deceived the young boss successfully by using his greed against him!

In defense of marriage!

I'll make a few in-line comments and then share another article that may be thought provoking.
 
The Homosexual Agenda
FIRST - NO SUCH THING AS A HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA.  THERE IS A CLEAR THEOCRATIC AGENDA, AND THE AUTHOR ESPOUSES THIS...

"The advocates of same-sex marriage do not seek tolerance for homosexuals.
THAT IS CORRECT, THEY SEE CIVIL RIGHTS AFFORDED OTHERS BUT NOT THEM. 
 They have already accomplished this.  Sodomy laws have been struck down.
 Gays and lesbians are free to engage in sexual activity in the privacy of their bedrooms.
HIS PREOCCUPATION WITH WHAT PEOPLE DO IN THEIR BEDROOMS IS FASCINATING, BUT OFF TRACK.  HETEROSEXUALS COMMIT SODOMY FAR MORE FREQUENTLY THAN GAYS, SINCE THERE ARE SO MANY MORE OF THEM, AND THEY ARE EQUALLY PROTECTED UNDER THE LAW! 


"What they now seek is something different: The legitimization of their lifestyle.
BY SAYING THE KEYWORD: LIFESTYLE - THE AUTHOR BELIES HIS LEANINGS.  HE OBVIOUSLY SEES HOMOSEXUALITY AS A CHOICE, NOT A BIOLOGIC IMPERATIVE THAT IS INNATE AND INTO WHICH ONE IS BORN.  DID THE AUTHOR EVER CHOOSE TO BE HETEROSEXUAL?  WHEN?  WHY?  HOW DID HE MAKE THAT CHOICE?  GIVEN THE SOCIETAL PROHIBITIONS AND DISCRIMINATION AGAINST GAYS, WHY WOULD ANYONE BECOME GAY BY CHOICE?  

By pushing for gay marriage, they are demanding that society give its stamp of approval to homosexuality.
WHY SHOULDN'T SOCIETY GIVE IT'S STAMP OF APPROVAL TO HOMOSEXUALITY?  THE AUTHOR DOESN'T SAY FRED.  HMMM, WHAT'S SO WRONG ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY THAT HE CANNOT TURN THE OTHER CHEEK, LOVE HIS NEIGHBOR AS HIMSELF, ACT LIKE A CHRISTIAN IN OTHER WORDS!

The homosexual agenda therefore is not about 'civil rights.'  Rather, it is about taking the sexual revolution to its logical dystopian conclusion -- the creation of a new social order based on moral relativism, hedonism and individual gratification.
WRONG AGAIN.  IT IS ABOUT CIVIL RIGHTS.  PEOPLE IN MARRIAGES COMMIT ADULTERY, ARE HEDONISTIC AND SWAP PARTNERS AND COMMIT LOADS OF OTHER "INDIVIDUAL GRATIFYING" ACTS, WHY DOESN'T THE AUTHOR FIND THEM AT FAULT?

"Ultimately, however, the purpose of marriage -- and of sex -- is not to be 'happy,' 'satisfied,' or 'fulfilled.'  It is to sustain our civilization by reproducing.
MARRIAGE IS NOT ABOUT REPRODUCTION.  ONE CAN EASILY REPRODUCE WITHOUT MARRIAGE.  SO, WHAT IS HE ON ABOUT?
MARRIAGE IS A CONTRACT, IT DOESN'T REQUIRE PROCREATION, BUT IT DOES CONFIR CERTAIN RIGHTS TO THOSE WHO PARTAKE.  WHY SHOULDN'T THESE RIGHTS BE AVAILABLE TO ANY TWO FOLK WHO WISH TO MARRY?  THE AUTHOR DOESN'T SAY!
 
 A society of homosexuals cannot perpetuate itself; it is doomed to extinction.
HAS THE AUTHOR HEARD OF ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION?  PLENTY OF GAYS ARE PARENTS. MY FRIEND SAM IS GAY, WITHOUT A PARTNER, AND ADOPTED A CHILD.  HE'S RAISING XANDER BY HIMSELF.  SO WHAT?

"Hence, same-sex marriage is an oxymoron.  Marriage is about having children and reproducing -- one generation is transmitted to the next.  The crisis of our age is that we no longer understand this -- or care to.
IT IS SIMPLY AND CLEARLY NOT TRUE.  PLENTY OF PEOPLE GET MARRIED WITHOUT  THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN.  HOW ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED IN THEIR 80'S?  THIS GUY IS NUTS.  CRISIS OF OUR AGE?  WHAT CRISIS?
 
Most European countries do not have birthrates necessary to maintain their populations.
THIS ISN'T ON TOPIC AT ALL.
 
 They are gradually dying.
HUH? 
 America's birthrate is slightly higher but has been trending downward for decades."
SO WHAT?  HOW WILL KEEPING GAYS FROM MARRIAGE AFFECT THIS TREND IN ANY WAY?

-- "Marriage Madness and Why It Could Destroy America," by Jeffrey T. Kuhner, The Washington Times National Weekly Edition, June 30, 2008, page 32. Address: 3600 New York Avenue, NE, Washington, DC 20002.
 
THE TITLE OF THE ARTICLE - MARRIAGE MADNESS DESTROYING AMERICA?  HOW SO, HIS ARTICLE DOESN'T SAY!

THE AMERICA IN WHICH I LIVE BELIEVES IN EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL, REGARDLESS OF GENDER, RACE, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, BELIEF, ETC.  WHAT AMERICA IS HE SPEAKING OF, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THERE.

1.  THE AUTHOR ASSUMES THAT MARRIAGE IS A GOOD THING, BUT DOESN'T CLAIM WHY!

2.  THE AUTHOR ASSUMES THAT PROCREATION IS A GOOD THING, BUT DOESN'T SHOW WHY!  (There are far too many people in the world already, that's what's going to "destroy America" not giving people the right to be equal under the law!)  MARRIAGE CERTAINLY DOESN'T REQUIRE ONE TO PROCREATE, NOR DOES IT MAKE IT ANY EASIER TO HAVE KIDS...IT IS A LEGAL DOCUMENT THAT CONVEYS RIGHTS, AND, THEREFORE IT OUGHT TO CONVEY THOSE RIGHTS TO ALL WHO QUALIFY.

3.  AS I SAID ABOVE, THE AUTHOR SEEMS TO THINK THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IS A 'LIFESTYLE' AND  CHOICE.  HE'S WRONG ON BOTH COUNTS.  ANYONE CAN HAVE SEX WITH A PARTNER OF THE SAME SEX, THAT MAY WELL BE A CHOICE, BUT HETERO/HOMO-SEXUALS CAN NO MORE CHANGE SEXUAL ORIENTATION THAN A DOG CAN BECOME A CAT.

CURRENTLY MARRIAGE CONVEYS SPECIAL RIGHTS ON THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED. WHY SHOULDN'T ANY TWO PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE MARRIAGE BE ABLE TO HAVE THOSE RIGHTS?

THE AUTHOR DOESN'T SAY, BUT HE OBVIOUSLY DOES WANT TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST A FEW IN OUR SOCIETY WHO ALSO WISH TO BE MARRIED.  WONDER WHY!

There are those who seek to change the definition of marriage to be two people of opposite sex...not clear why they wish to do so in the first place, but if they succeed, here's an article that shows why this may not be such a nice solution at all!


LOVE TO HEAR ANY REACTION.
THIS 'DEFENSE' OF MARRIAGE IS SIMPLY A RELIGIOUS TEST, NOTHING TO DO WITH 
DEMOCRACY AND AMERICA, IT STINKS OF THEOCRACY ACTUALLY.

NOT ALL CULTURES IN THE WORLD VIEW HOMOSEXUALITY WITH DISTAIN, 
IT OCCURS IN EVERY CULTURE ON EARTH, AT ABOUT THE SAME FREQUENCY AS HERE,
WHICH SIMPLY SHOWS THAT IT IS INNATE AND NOT A CHOICE...
--
Cheers,

Frish