Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Things I've Said When Asked About My Child Free Status

So, when to use any of the answers below?  It all depends! (the "executive's answer"!).  Enjoy a giggle and share your own!
 
"When I was eight, someone suggested I should eat my vegetables because "There are starving children in China" (circa 1962).  Decided then I would never have children.  Why would I have children in a world that already can't feed children?"
 
"There are enough children in the world."
 
"My siblings have procreated, therefore my genes will carry on."
 
"Yes, I was married for 29 years and no we had no children."
 
"We didn't have kids because we never consumated the marriage.  That's what kept our marriage fresh for 29 years...we heard that anticipation was better than the real thing, and vowed to prove it!"
 
"Why no kids?  It was either the water, or the fact we never consumated the marriage..."
 
"Watched a lot of videos of WWII and Concentration Camps at Religious (Jewish) School.  Convinced me, if humans can do that, no way I'm having a child!"
 
"I don't have kids, got a vasectomy at age 50, which was quite liberating!"
 
"My genes are no more necessary for the future of mankind than any others."
 
"I Love children, they love me.  I've helped raise several nieces and nephews.  Never changed a diaper, never want to."
 
"I don't do vomit well, since I frequently vomit in sympathetic response to a child's spit up!"
 
"The most ethical/moral selfless decision you can make (in favor of the rest of life on the planet) is to have no children."
 
"No child blames me."
 
"The most ecologically progressive thing you can possibly do is not have children!"
 
"Life is the natural outcome of the chemistry of the planet, all of life's components were available on a cooling Earth.  Human life has been changed, by our culture and the technology that stems from it, to ignore natural laws governing our life and death...from tools (fire, sharp rocks, technology), habitat (clothing, housing), health (medicine), food (agriculture), or any other aspect of human life on earth.  We are out of control, unsustainable, reaching formidable limits, and have already caused enough climate changing chaos to adversely affect the biosphere for the next 500 years.  That's why I don't have children."
 
"Humans aren't smart enough to Run the planet, we're just smart enough Ruin it."
(Wow, that was a good one!  Thanks all!)