I have re-written your story to make it read better in English.
There were a few things I was unclear about, and I do hope I interpreted your meaning.
I did add one line (about weighing the ingot before giving money for it), and hope I didn't change anything else...
IT IS A REALLY GREAT STORY, AND THE WAY YOU WROTE IT ORIGINALLY IS BETTER THAN MINE.
However, English is what it is, and mine is "easier" to read for an English speaker. (Your story is better however).
There are a couple of things I changed, and one I wasn't clear about.
That is a really great sentence, and I wish I knew how better to "translate" your meaning...
I wasn't sure about your description "two piece on both side and had no top", so changed it slightly...
and, I assumed you meant embroidered shoes (shoes with colorful thread designs) instead of embroiled...
Also, do you want to "bring yourself back to the present" at the end of the story - like "I woke up feeling refreshed after having visited my hometown during the night..." or something?
I hope you are not offended by my effort...it was a certain pleasure, I love your story!
If you want to call me to discuss how we can improve this, I am happy to help, it was great fun and a truly great story!
June 21st 2004
We decided that my number 3 brother, number 5 sister, my mother and I, (three families in all), are going to visit our hometown this September.
Unfortunately I overexerted myself when I tried to move the headboard, and twisted my back. It is pitiful, but, after that I wasn't able to move at all.
The only way I find myself able to cope is to depend on powerful medicine I now must take four times a day to relieve the pain.
I am a bridge addict yet how can I go to the bridge club and sit for so long?
I feel tired and sleepy all the time. It's hard to be old.
I am quite depressed now, but every old person has some illness or complaint.
My mother is no exception, and talks incessantly about her aging difficulties.
She said, "This will be the last visit for me. When we went the last time, the leg-room was not enough in the plane and it made my legs swollen. I am getting old day by day and find it very hard to travel on such a long trip; two years ago I was sick for more than a month and the weather was very hot at that time and the mosquitoes…" She is such a chatterbox, with no end to her complaining.
It is said that: "What you think in the day, you will dream at night."
My mother and I shared a hot topic: whom we have to see and where we have to go ... Surely it will never happen in the near future due to our age.
Therefore I dreamed again of being there….
Whenever I went to Anqing, I liked to wander in the streets and recall the old days. I liked to listen and watch people talking with our hometown's accent. The accent really makes me homesick. People bargained loudly over the prices in the market, or shouted on the street whatever they had to sell or quarreled on the street if someone was hit by a bicycle. You could tell by whose voice was loudest who was right.
A vendor hit the flavored ice bar container which was made of wood, in a rhythm "Bing bang, Bing bang!" I didn't miss the food but the rhythm deeply moved me outside of my window and reminded me of my childhood.
The "Lao Hu Aao Chong Shui Di" store still sells boiling water. They burn coal instead of reeds and use a pipe and faucet to control the boiling water. It is more convenient than to cook at home.
If you just need a small amount of boiling water after you pay a coin, you get a token with their brand on a piece of bamboo. By using their token you can get piping hot boiling water the next time, so as to get full value for your payment.
My curiosity caused me to explore things that were interesting on the streets. I rambled in the streets not to window shop, but to find out what everyone was doing.
While I was thinking, all of a sudden someone called me; "Da Gu O!" I was surprised and wondered who was calling me. It was a salesman, carrying many bamboo strips for tightening wooden tubs because when the weather is hot, the wooden tubs would shrink and had split seams. The repairman shouted all the way down the street, to let people know what he offers.
When I wandered into a big street, there were a lot of people inside a magnificent antique and money exchange shop. A young apprentice in front of the shop shouted "Money change, Money change!"
There was plenty of the old stuff, real or counterfeit, displayed. Some men wore high quality Chinese style dress and from the inside pure white cuffs were rolling out. A gold chain hung from the button-hole, linking into their right side pocket, where they put their foreign gold watch.
There was a noble lady wearing a fashionable silk band, (two pieces on both sides but with none on top). She had a precious deep green Burma jade fastened in the front. It's worth a million at least. Her silk stand out dress was so brilliant that no one's ware could compare. Under her long skirt there was a pair of three inch embroidered high heeled shoes. They were very tiny and beautiful.
There was a maid standing besides her lighting her water pipe now and then. The old lady must be the mother of the boss.
It seemed they were doing good business that day. Out of curiosity, I went in and just like a bumpkin old lady enjoyed every movement and eavesdropped on what were they talking about in our hometown's accent.
An old man with a long gray mustache wearing a fine long silk Chinese gown haggled over the price with the salesman for changing Yaung Da Tu to coins.
A handsome middle-aged man came into the shop said : "Wang Yaun Wai, I was passing by and happened to see you here. I was on the way to your home, because your shao ye in Su Zhu heard I was going to travel through your city and he asked me to bring things to you."
The well dressed man continued, "You are very lucky your son has a prosperous business there. I have your household stipend, so you won't have to suffer this month! Hehe! Thank you very much for your time!"
After that, he handed him a letter and a golden ingot (Jin Yuan Boa) and left the shop in a hurry, as he had other business.
After that man left, the old man smiled and hesitantly tore open the letter. Then, he said, "That man is very kind. He always brings food and things or money from my son." He said again; "I should have let him read my letter to me, because my eyesight is not as good as it once was."
"Could I trouble you to read it to me?", offering the letter to the shop manager.
The young boss agreed.
The letter spoke about family matters, and said business was more prosperous than ever before. Enclosed, was 10 ounces of gold, for his father's household use.
"What a good son!" The old man smiled with the greatest satisfaction.
The young boss, who was the eldest son of the store owner, then approached the old man, trying to make more business: "I will give you a fair price, if you wish to change your gold for money".
"Well, just let me touch my Jin Yuan Boi for a moment more. I don't mind that you test the content of it. I just want to remember how good it feels. According to my son's letter, this fine gold weighs exactly 10 ounces."
The young boss weighed the Jin Yuan Boi in his hand, From experience he knew it was more than 10 ounces. He was excited with the thought that he could earn more from this trade, so he didn't even bother to weigh it, as was the customary practice of his father.
Both of them were happy with their contract. With the money, the old man left the shop in a hurry.
Another smart customer had been eavesdropping on the whole conversation.
He knew more than the De Shao Y. The old man and his con partner were both swindlers; therefore, they had taken advantage of the salesman's innocence.
He said, "You had better check your merchandise, it is only gold coated."
After that the young boss took a close look.
He flushed when he discovered his mistake. People would laugh at him behind his back and his father would blame him too. So he asked this customer to help him and offered to give 5 Yuan De Tu as a reward.
The customer said: "Just happens I am his neighbor and I do know where he lives. But since we are neighbors, I can't show you in front of him."
In quick order, the young manager found the old man, who was just passing through the south gate.
The old man and the boss argued there and people came around and a big crowd gathered. The boss wanted his money back but the old man said: "You had read my son's letter. He told me it was a 10 ounce golden ingot but this is not the one which I give to you. Mine was a perfect one with no seam on it."
Then all of them went to a nearby shop and weighed it. It was 11 and half ounces. It appeared that the boss had cheated the old man. All the audience felt sympathy for the old man and beat the young boss severely.
Greed is a deeply rooted human weakness. As the saying goes "Money is the root of evil." The old man deceived the young boss successfully by using his greed against him!
My husband and I were watching her on abc last night and I realized that her legs look exactly like Barbie's! Then I realized that her entire look is Barbie's. "Governor Barbie" - LOL!